Tell us about your work. And why do you do this? I'm mixed multicultural multireligious multispiritual background. I work as a Holistic Counsellor and Bodyworker to integrate more bodywork into the otherwise just mind work that is just regular clinical counselling. I noticed that clinical counselling is the bare minimum to help someone to open up and talk and get comfortable with themselves and in their own skin. There are way more things that can be done to feel better in your skin and help others to grow personally and balance them emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, physically and sexually. I do this work because I feel I can contribute really well with my holistic vision to the well being of women as well as men dealing with difficulties in one of these areas. I'm holistically schooled and have a holistic vision, where I consider the inside and outside both important. I want to make people aware to take good care of themselves by nurturing them through talking but also bodywork at the same time. It makes people feel validated and nurtured.
Let’s talk about sexual intimacy and women. Do you feel they are often uncomfortable discussing this topic? There is still a taboo among women to talk about this subject in general. This is definitely something that needs to change, especially the judging and disrespectful views that some women might have and that some cultures might propagate as being religious or even celibacy spiritual. I feel that sexual intimacy is equally if not more spiritual than celibacy and withdrawing from any sexual contact. I noticed mostly women that have questions around bisexuality are interested to talk more about their sexuality and their sexual experiences, compared to straight women and women within confined patriarchal religions (Jewish, Christianity and Islam) are the way less to talk about sexuality in general and actually do feel shame or uncomfortable talking about sexuality even with another woman. There is still a huge stigma on sexual experience as a woman before marriage and having multiple boyfriends.
What would be the five top tips on self-care for women on sexual wellness? -don't forget to take care of yourself literally, stay healthy, stay with your routines, eat healthy and don't neglect yourself if you feel your sexual intimacy with someone or in general is low key. -maintain your sexuality by regular self release. This prevents you from getting psychologically unbearable, annoyed and stressed. -take time to get to know and explore your body -read up on knowledge from different angles, not just your own religion. Look beyond your borders what other women and other experienced people have to say. -don't have extremely high hopes just for a honeymoon night if you have never been married and you are a virgin. It takes time to get sexually attuned, and even if the first time is good or bad, in the future there is all chance for sexuality to improve if both partners are in tune with each other and like to listen to each other. -talk about sexuality with your partner and voice in a respectful and tactful way afterwards what you felt during the lovemaking. Not all guys have a clue and some or most are even scared to ask for your opinion or feel intimidated to perform. But they still want to know they are on the right track with their sexual behavior towards you. Keep in mind that most guys do want to please their woman they are in love with.
They say, finding intimacy with yourself is the key. What do you have to say about that? -Yes, this is totally true. In all stages of your life you need to take care of yourself, even because you can end up in an (unforeseen) breakup, or because your love can be unrequited, or you don't yet have the ideal love relationship. But even in a relationship it is key to get to know your own body, to know what you like, and don't expect your partner to fulfill all your needs during lovemaking, and you need to be able to make yourself come instead of expecting your partner to make you come all the time and being resentful if the orgasm or climax stays out because they're still learning about your body and female anatomy in general. Anyway, the guys body is physically easier to understand also because orgasm means usually that sperm comes out, but for a women not much is to see and the sex organs are covered by the big labia, that makes it difficult for a guy to see what they are doing and they sometimes have to just "feel" what they are doing. Keep in mind that a guy has a totally different anatomy and nothing is obvious with the female orgasm for a guy. Some guys think that all women can squirt and a lot of guys look at porn as a way of educating themselves, with the higher expectations visually that come with it. It's good to be aware that sexuality starts with your own self exploration also so you can explain to the guy what you like and also especially what you maybe don't like.
Any message for our readers? -If you have any sexual questions, or are interested in sex therapy, bodywork or holistic counselling, feel free to contact me for a 15 min free intake (shehnaaz.era@gmail.com).
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