Yeah, so We actually mean to have babies, but we get despair and feelings for death in return because of being heartbroken and tormented relationships and childhood trauma. The feeling of not being seen or heard repeats itself more often in your life depending on your own projections and how you deal with them. Even if you try to talk about it, its still a difficult subject, because people rather take it not seriously or they think you are just overreacting. Or even that it doesn't mean anything. What anyway is a SUICIDE ATTEMPT? Well, it's actually really simple and easy as literally going to bed and not wanting to wake up anymore. It is the hungry need, starving love and loneliness. The most safe way is actually just falling asleep. And then just wait till you are fully recharged and well rested again. And then start again with making new plans really slowly (self help), otherwise it means you should literally just find help. Journaling might also work for some people. Sending letters to people you care about, silent love etc. CAN help if it might be reciprocated. BUT you only know this and can find out once you dare to actually open your heart. SO YOU CANNOT SEE THIS ON THE OUTSIDE REALLY...we really look different and there is a socalled facade and puppet performance play going on on the surface, the feeling lies really deep within, when nobody is actually around you or watching you.